Minions. Perhaps you’re wondering why it took so darned long to pick a winner of the Tara Lazar and Mike Jung Book Review Naming Contest. Well, there were a bunch of quality entries, first of all. Then Tara and I had to deliberate – this is a partnership, yo, partnerships require communication, evaluation, bribery, and sometimes a little bare-knuckle boxing. Lastly, I, uh, kind of forgot about it for a while. Give me a break, I was in the eye of the revision/submission/procrastination hurricane! I’m writing a book here, people!
Nonetheless, we eventually did pick a winner, and in classic fashion we went with a choice that appeared to be a bit of a throwaway. But we went ahead and selected it anyway, for the simple reason that we found it terribly amusing in the moment. Ladies and gentlemen, give a round of minionesque applause for Jacqui Robbins and her winning entry,
Lazarsky & Hutch: The Book Review Series!
The single biggest drawback of this choice, of course, is the complete absence of my own name anywhere in it. Yes, this is an odd choice – counterintuitive, perhaps, for a fledgling children’s writer who’s trying to establish a presence in the industry. You’re thinking “Mike, you &%!#$*%, nobody’s gonna know it’s you!” Well, I say everyone WILL know, because half the time these reviews are gonna be on MY BLOG, people! Plus it gives me the opportunity to make endless references to Starsky’s striped tomato car, blinding polyester outfits, and the immortal Huggie Bear, still the all-time champ in the category of Best Name Ever for a TV Police Informant.
Jacqui is the lucky recipient of the PB, MG or YA book of her choice, ordered through Indiebound.org from the indie bookseller of her choice, as well as the very first piece of #mikesempire merchandise in history, this lovely, one-of-a-kind personalized t-shirt pictured above. Yes, yes, it’s quite the thing. It’s possible I’ll make a non-personalized version of the shirt for all you minions who are just DYING to have one of your own, unless I find out none of you are, in which case I just won’t bother because I DON’T NEED YOUR T-SHIRT LOVE ANYWAY.
Jacqui, well done. You are an exemplary minion of #mikesempire. And the Lazarsky & Hutch book review will come along in due time, all in good time. Patience, my hungry children, soon there will be enough slaughtered livestock to feed every zombie squirrel in our army…