…is the answer to the question that you may be asking: why are you holding a Twitter contest? I mean, seriously, Mike? Okay, it’s more complicated than “because it’s my party and I’ll tweet if I want to and leave me alone.” It’s also because I have been on this gigantic blog contest winning streak – five wins, y’all, feel free to bow in my presence – and with a stack of five new books on my desk, several of them with a personalized autograph, I just feel so darned generous. And despite my general apathy toward the concept of blogging, I forgot the rules to my own stupid contest, tried to search for them in my old tweets, and thought “well boy howdy, this is a pain in the %#&, I probably oughta write the rules down in one place.”
SO! Contest rules.
- This is a Twitter-based contest. You must be following me on Twitter, where (in a fit of startling originality) I call myself Mike_Jung.
- To make sure I see your entry, mention me in the tweet, or include the #mikescontest hashtag. As a helpful alternative option, you may include the #mikesempire hashtag (more on that below). You can also DM your entry to me if you feel shy, or are some kind of covert operative who does things secretly out of habit.
- If you follow me on Twitter, you know of the glorious phenomenon that is #mikesempire, the main purpose of which is to bestow silly titles on people for utterly random, nonsensical reasons. GIVE YOURSELF A #MIKESEMPIRE TITLE.
- I will select two winners – one will be the person whose title pleases me the most, and the other will be randomly selected. Perhaps I shall use the time-honored old-school hat-based method.
- Both winners will receive the PB, MG or YA book of their choice, ordered through IndieBound from the independent bookseller of their choice. I will probably use the cheap, slow shipping option, so be prepared to wait. Don’t complain, for crying out loud – IT’S A FREE BOOK.
- The contest ends tomorrow, Friday, December 11, 2009 at midnight Pacific time. Which I guess is technically Saturday, but seriously, who calculates time that way? WHO? ANYBODY?
- That’s it.
You may be wondering “hey, Mike, you’re just gonna PICK a winner? Don’t you just have weird and unpredictable tastes in everything? Is this contest fair?” The answers are YES, YES, and OF COURSE NOT, who’s the nimrod that told you life is fair? Life is a bowl of cherries infested with tiny, fanged, malevolent demons. Maintain some perspective, people.